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The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
— Mark Twain
Few people know how to be old .
— La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)
The idea is to die young, as late as possible..
— Ashley Montagu
My health is good; it's my age that's bad.
— Roy Acuff (at 83)
Death sneaks up on you like a windshield sneaks up on a bug.
— Unknown wise person
Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
— Joe Gores
You know you're old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you do while you're down there.
— George Burns
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
— John Barrymore
Now that I'm over sixty, I'm veering toward respectability.
— Shelley Winters
I refuse to admit that I'm more than fifty-two even if that does make
my sons illegitimate.
— Lady Astor
A man's as old as he's feeling, a woman as old as she looks.
— Mortimer Collins
When a woman tells you her age, it's all right to look surprised,
but don't scowl.
— Wilson Mitner
To lengthen thy life [and thy retirement years], lessen thy meals.
— Ben Franklin
I don't think about my age. It's only a number.
— James Biggs (104-year-old resident in a Dallas retirement-community)
The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played
on old fiddles.
— Sigmund Z Engel
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week
or two he will feel as good as ever.
— Don Marquis
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
— George Burns
The older one grows the more one likes indecency.
— Virginia Woolf
Growing old is compulsory. Retirement from work is discretionary.
— Unknown wise person
I've always been a bit more maturer than what I am.
— Samantha Fox
Time and trouble will tame an advanced woman, but an advanced old
woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.
— Dorothy L. Sayers
Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
— George Bernard Shaw
Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a
man.
— Leon Trotsky
I have always felt that a woman has the right to treat the subject of her age with ambiguity until, perhaps, she passes into the realm of over ninety. Then it is better she be candid with herself and with
the world.
— Helena Rubinstein
Old age ain't no place for sissies.
— Bette Davis
Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it
doesn't matter.
— Mark Twain
Everyone is the age of their heart.
— Guatemalan proverb
Wish not so much to live long, as to live well.
— Ben Franklin
It is not how old you are, but how you are old.
— Marie Dressler
A light heart lives long.
— William Shakespeare
The trick is growing up without growing old.
— Casey Stengel
Age only matters when one is aging. Now that I have arrived at a great
age, I might just as well be twenty.
— Pablo Picasso
He is so old that his blood type was discontinued.
— Bill Dana
And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the
life in your years.
— Abraham Lincoln
Fear not death; for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal.
— Ben Franklin
The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
— Madeleine L'Engle
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
— Robert Benchley
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
— Bob Hope
An old man in love is like a flower in winter.
— Portuguese proverb
I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Never ask old people how they are if you have anything to do that day.
— Joe Restivo
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When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.
— George Burns
Children are a great comfort in your old age — and they help you reach it faster.
— Lionel Kauffman
If you survivie long enough, you're revered — rather like an old building.
— Katharine Hepburn
I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
— Rita Rudner
I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps changing all the time.
— Greer Garson
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
— Unknown wise person
Why do people write books that say it's better to be older than to be younger? It's not better. Even if you have all your marbles, you're constantly reaching for the name of the person you met the day before yersterday . . . . If you work, you're surrounded by young people who are plugged into the marketplace, the demographic, the zeitgeist; they want your job and someday they're going to get it.
— Nora Ephron
Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.
— Unknown wise person
Contrary to popular myth, people don't necessarily become wiser with age. We just become more easily irritated. And more irritating to others. The upside is, we don't care.
— Dennis Rogers
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
— George Burns
Curmudgeons are not, to quote Spiro Agnew, merely "nattering nabobs of negativism." We serve a useful function by saying out loud what polite people merely think. We're also a lot of fun at parties. Not that we ever get invited.
— Dennis Rogers
You have to put off being young until you can retire.
— Unknown wise person
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Retirement Sayings about Aging and Old Age That Appear on T-Shirts Available on the Cafe Press Retirement Collection
Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.
— Retirement Saying
At my age getting lucky is finding the car in the parking lot.
— Author Unknown
Retired: I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.
— Author Unknown
Retired: Too Old to Work — Too Young to Die.
— Retirement Saying
The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it!
— Doris Day
The Older I Get the Better I Was!
— Retirement Saying
I'm Not Old, I'm CLASSIC
— Retirement Saying
I would pick on someone my own age but they are all dead now.
— Author Unknown
Forget how old you are — this get's more important the older you get!
— from the international bestseller How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor
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