The Retirement Quotes Café

A Comprehensive Collection of Retirement Quotes, Retirement Jokes, Retirement Speeches, Retirement Letters, Retirement Gifts, and Retirement Poems
Selections by Ernie J. Zelinski
Author of How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
 

 

Retirement Quotes and Retirement Sayings

Aging and Old Age

 

 

Few people know how to be old .
— La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

My health is good; it's my age that's bad.
— Roy Acuff (at 83)

Death sneaks up on you like a windshield sneaks up on a bug.
— Unknown wise person

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.
— Joe Gores

You know you're old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you do while you're down there.
— George Burns

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
— John Barrymore

Now that I'm over sixty, I'm veering toward respectability.
— Shelley Winters

I refuse to admit that I'm more than fifty-two even if that does make my sons illegitimate.
— Lady Astor

A man's as old as he's feeling, a woman as old as she looks.
— Mortimer Collins

When a woman tells you her age, it's all right to look surprised, but don't scowl.
— Wilson Mitner

To lengthen thy life [and thy retirement years], lessen thy meals.
— Ben Franklin

I don't think about my age. It's only a number.
— James Biggs (104-year-old resident in a Dallas retirement-community)

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on old fiddles.
— Sigmund Z Engel

Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.
— Don Marquis

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.
— George Burns

The older one grows the more one likes indecency.
— Virginia Woolf

Growing old is compulsory. Retirement from work is discretionary.
— Unknown wise person

I've always been a bit more maturer than what I am.
— Samantha Fox

Time and trouble will tame an advanced woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.
— Dorothy L. Sayers

Every man over forty is a scoundrel.
— George Bernard Shaw

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.
— Leon Trotsky

I have always felt that a woman has the right to treat the subject of her age with ambiguity until, perhaps, she passes into the realm of over ninety. Then it is better she be candid with herself and with the world.
— Helena Rubinstein

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
— Bette Davis

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
— Mark Twain

Everyone is the age of their heart.
— Guatemalan proverb

Wish not so much to live long, as to live well.
— Ben Franklin

It is not how old you are, but how you are old.

— Marie Dressler

Forget how old you are — this get's more important the older you get!
— from the international bestseller How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor

A light heart lives long.
— William Shakespeare

The trick is growing up without growing old.
— Casey Stengel

Age only matters when one is aging. Now that I have arrived at a great age, I might just as well be twenty.
— Pablo Picasso

He is so old that his blood type was discontinued.
— Bill Dana

And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
— Abraham Lincoln

Fear not death; for the sooner we die, the longer we shall be immortal.
— Ben Franklin


 

 

 

 

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When I was young, the Dead Sea was still alive.
— George Burns

Children are a great comfort in your old age — and they help you reach it faster.
— Lionel Kauffman

If you survivie long enough, you're revered — rather like an old building.
— Katharine Hepburn

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.
— Rita Rudner

I do wish I could tell you my age but it's impossible. It keeps changing all the time.
— Greer Garson

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
— Unknown wise person

Why do people write books that say it's better to be older than to be younger? It's not better. Even if you have all your marbles, you're constantly reaching for the name of the person you met the day before yersterday . . . . If you work, you're surrounded by young people who are plugged into the marketplace, the demographic, the zeitgeist; they want your job and someday they're going to get it.
— Nora Ephron

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many.

— Unknown wise person

Contrary to popular myth, people don't necessarily become wiser with age. We just become more easily irritated. And more irritating to others. The upside is, we don't care.
— Dennis Rogers

The really frightening thing about middle age is that you know you'll grow out of it!
— Doris Day

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.
— Rodney Dangerfield

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
— George Burns

Curmudgeons are not, to quote Spiro Agnew, merely "nattering nabobs of negativism." We serve a useful function by saying out loud what polite people merely think. We're also a lot of fun at parties. Not that we ever get invited.
— Dennis Rogers

You have to put off being young until you can retire.
— Unknown wise person

 

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The great thing about getting older is that you don't lose all the other ages you've been.
— Madeleine L'Engle

Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
— Robert Benchley

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
— Bob Hope

An old man in love is like a flower in winter.
— Portuguese proverb

Never ask old people how they are if you have anything to do that day.
— Joe Restivo