The Retirement Quotes Café

A Comprehensive Collection of Retirement Quotes, Retirement Jokes, Retirement Speeches, Retirement Letters, Retirement Gifts, and Retirement Poems
Selections by Ernie J. Zelinski
Author of How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
 

 

Retirement Quotes and Retirement Sayings

Health Tips for the Retired and Semi-Retired

 

 

He who has good health is young.
— H.G. Bohn

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now, we don't know where the hell she is.
— Ellen DeGeneris

Eat few suppers, and you'll need few medicines.
— Ben Franklin

You want to go easy on the suicide stuff — first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
— Robert Benchley

Eat only when you are hungry. Drink only when you're thirsty. Sleep only when you're tired. Screw only when you're horny.
— Al Neuharth

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom..
— Muriel Spark

My only advice is to lay off alcohol, tobacco, and wild women. Any can kill you.
— James Biggs (104-year-old resident in a Dallas retirement-community)

No bread, no fries, no potatoes. Nothing that tastes good. And water please.
— Bob Rae (Liberal Party Leader when ordering a meal at Swiss Chalet)

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
— Mark Twain

Of all the anti-social vested interests the worst is the vested interest in ill-health.
— George Bernard Shaw

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
— Erma Bombeck

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.
— Constitution. The World Health Organization.

People who don't know how to keep themselves healthy ought to have the decency to get themselves buried, and not waste time about it.
— Henrik Ibsen

If I would have known that I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
— Cartoon caption in the retirement book The Joy of Not Working

My health is good; it's my age that's bad.
— Ray Acuff at 83

 

 


 

 

 

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The preservation of health is a duty. Few seem conscious that there is such a thing as physical morality.
— Herbert Spencer

Keep away from physicians. It is all probing and guessing and pretending with them. They leave it to Nature to cure in her own time, but they take the credit. As well as very fat fees.
— Anthony Burgess

Good health makes the practice of virtue more difficult.
— John Bunyan

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell.
— Alec Yuill Thornton

I'm on a grapefruit diet. I eat everything bu grapefruit.
— Chi Chi Rodriguez

Diets are mainly food for thought.

— N. Wylie Jones

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
— Garfield (Jim Davis)

If you don't take care of your body, where do you intend to live?.
— from the international bestseller How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free

 

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Retirement Quotes Image - Cover - How to Retire Happy

Purchase How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free through these direct links: