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Another Free E-book by Ernie J. Zelinski
Download the Free E-book (in PDF format) with 237 retirement quotes and retirement sayings placed in over 40 categories at the link below:
The 237 Best Things Ever Said about Retirement
The Retirement Quotes Café is the ultimate webpage of retirement quotes and retirement sayings, for the retirement-party organizer, human resource specialist, professional speaker, financial writer, journalist, author, and connoisseur of great quotations. Whether you have used the keywords retirement quotes, retirement sayings, quotes for retirement, retirement quotations, quotes retirement, quotes on retirement, retirement jokes quotes, funny retirement quotes, funny quotes about retirement, or quotes for a retirement party, welcome. These inspirational retirement quotes should add spice to your conversations, remind you humorously of your questionable existence, motivate you to greater accomplishments, or just plainly lighten your day.
Retirement Quotes — Advice on How to Retire Happy
Stay busy [when you retire]. If you are going to sit on the couch and watch TV, you are going to die.
— Bill Chavanne
Preparation for old age should begin not later than one's teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled
on retirement.
— Arthur E. Morgan
Don't act your age [in retirement]. Act like the inner young person you have always been.
— J. A. West
Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.
— Harry Emerson Fosdick
Retirement Quotes — Advice on Whether to Take Early Retirement
Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home
a week and watch daytime television.
— Unknown wise person
We have no porch, no rocking chair — and no time. My biggest need is a calendar because there are so many things to do. Now I encourage
people to retire — the younger the better.
— Maurice Musholt
Everyone who does not work has a scheme that does.
— Munder's Law
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
— Walter Gagehot
When is the right age to retire? When you dread going to work.
— Mary Bright
Miscellaneous Retirement Sayings
I feel like early retirement is an incredible gift. It's a gift that
everyone should give themselves.
— Unknown wise person
Enjoy every retirement day as if it was your last and one day you will be right about it.
— Unknown wise person
I have retired, un retired, and retired again all in the past 10 years. I find the biggest trouble with having NOTHING to do is . . . you can't tell when you are done.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes — Definitions of Retirement
Retirement, when every day is Saturday!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement: No Job, No Stress, No Pay!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance.
— Mason Cooley
Retirement: Twice the husband, half the money!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement: When you have given so much of yourself to the Company
that you don't have anything left that the company can use.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes — Difficulties of Retirement
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
— Vince Lombardi
To retire is the beginning of death.
— Pablo Casals
Retirement takes all the meaning out of weekends.
— Unknown wise person
As to that leisure evening of life, I must say that I do not want
it. I can conceive of no contentment of which toil is not to be the
immediate parent.
— Anthony Trollope
Humorous Retirement Sayings and Humorous Retirement Quotes
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance,
his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
— R.C. Sherriff
One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to
read about the problems of retirement.
— Unknown wise person
He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.
— Unknown wise person
When you see some people work you wonder what they’ll do in retirement.
— Unknown wise person
RETIREMENT: The time in your life when time is no longer money.
— Unknown wise person
I'm retired — goodbye tension, hello pension!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes — Definitions of Retirement
Retirement to me does not mean nothing to do but the realization of the decisions I made in the past. That I made in my life.
— Jack Bowman
Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working
at living.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement: The time in your life when time is no longer money.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Jokes Quotes — Early Retirement
There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.
— Robert Half
I only work every couple of years. I go into retirement between films.
— Paul Hogan
People may live as much retired from the world as they like, but sooner
or later they find themselves debtor or creditor to some one.
— Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
I don't really have any career goals at this point. I'm 35 and have
no need or plans to ever work again [in retirement].
— Eric Kanowsky (of Santa Barbara, CA, who took early retirement from
Software.com in 2000)
There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit . . . . retire!
— Groucho Marx
There are an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.
— Peter Drucker
Retirement Jokes Quotes — How to Retire
Happy, Wild, and Free
In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.
— Mason Cooley
Sex is Number 1 of my Top 10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other 8.
— from Graffiti for the Enlightened Soul
The only way to avoid being miserable [in retirement] is not to have enough leisure
to wonder whether you are happy or not.
— George Bernard Shaw
We've put more effort into helping folks reach retirement age than
into helping them enjoy it.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes — Mandatory Retirement
Age-based retirement arbitrarily severs productive persons from their livelihood, squanders their talents, scars their health, strains an already overburdened Social Security system, and drives many elderly people into poverty and despair. Ageism is as odious as racism and sexism.
— Norman Vincent Peale
The great thing about show business is that there's no mandatory retirement
age.
— Scott Bakula
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five, I still
had pimples.
— George Burns
Retirement Quotes — Men and Women
in Retirement
When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women
go right on cooking.
— Gail Sheehy
In this country . . . men seem to live for action as long as they
can and sink into apathy when they retire.
— Charles Francis Adams, Sr.
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
— Ella Harris
Retirement Quotes and Retirement Sayings — People Contemplating Retirement
What will I do with myself when I retire? When I quit my job, I do not want to quit living. Can I possibly be of use when retirement day comes, or will I just be taking up space?
— J. A. West
I'm not in retirement. I just don't want to work so much, and I don't
get that many offers any more.
— Max von Sydow
He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.
— Unknown wise person
When I retire I'm going to spend my evenings by the fireplace going
through those boxes. There are things in there that ought to be burned.
— Richard Milhouse Nixon
Funny Retirement Quotes — Paradox of Retirement
When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.
— R.C. Sherriff
Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.
— Unknown wise person
When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half
the income.
— Chi Chi Rodriguez
Retirement Quotes — People Enjoying Retirement
I like retirement life. It's something to do when no one wants you
to work anymore.
— Unknown wise person
Eating's going to be a whole new ball game. I may even have to buy
a new pair of trousers.
— Lester Piggott (b. 1935), British champion jockey (On his retirement)
I'm retired — I'm not dead!
— Unknown wise person
Funny Retirement Quotes — Problems of Retirement
If you have the time, you won't have the money. If you have the money, you won't have the time.
— Wolter's Law
Nothing ever comes out as planned.
— Seay's Law
One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to
read about the problems of retirement.
— Unknown wise person
The student who secures his coveted leisure and retirement by systematically
shirking any labor necessary to man obtains but an ignoble and unprofitable
leisure, defrauding himself of the experience which alone can make
leisure fruitful.
— Henry David Thoreau
When you see some people work you wonder what they’ll do in retirement.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes — Having
Heaven, that’s my retirement plan.
— Dwayne (Unknown last name) but Sam Smith's Father-in-Law
Welfare is not a retirement plan.
— from the international bestseller How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free: Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor
As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement
is planning.
— Earl Nightingale
Waiting until your retirement party is too late to start planning your [retirement] portfolio.
— Richard Wastcoat in the Telegraph
More Humorous Retirement Sayings and Humorous Retirement Quotes
Ahhh Retirement: Fishing Yesterday, Fishing Today, Fishing Tomorrow!
— Unknown wise person
A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
— Ella Harris
Retirement: No clock, no deadlines, no stress, no money!
— Unknown wise person
Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes — The Worst Things about Retirement
The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.
— Unknown wise person
Lord Tyrawley and I have been dead these two years, but we don't choose
to have it known.
— Lord Chesterfield
Most people perform essentially meaningless work. When they retire
that truth is borne upon them.
— Brendan Francis
When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to tell the
difference.
— Unknown wise person
Retirement Quotes — Why Some People Give Up Retirement
For the loot, honey, for the loot.
— Ava Gardner, (On why she came out of retirement to appear on a prime time soap opera.)
She (my ex-wife) wanted me to stop being Evel Knievel. I am who I
am. I'm not going to change. I'll settle down the day they put me in a six-foot pine box.
— Retired Stuntman Evel Knievel at 63, considering coming out of retirement
More Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
in These Categories
For More Retirement Sayings and Retirement Quotes
Check Out This Blog:
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Retirement Wisdom That You Won't Get from Your Financial Advisor
- 9 Dumbest Retirement Moves
- Why Retiring Too Late Means You Don't Get Another Chance
- 10 Youthful Activities Never Too Late to Pursue Unless You Are Dead
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First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
#1 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retire from work, but not from life.
— M. K. Soni
#2 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
The key to retirement is to find joy in the little things.
— Susan Miller
#3 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your
boss does.
— Unknown wise person
#4 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
I never stopped doing anything [when I retired], I stopped getting
paid for it.
— Bill Chavanne
#5 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement is the beginning of life, not the end.
— from the international bestseller How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
#6 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
— Abe Lemons
#7 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.
— Unknown wise person
#8 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.
— Patty Doyle
#9 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
— Workplace graffiti
#10 Quote of First Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.
— Abe Lemons
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How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
- Over 95,000 Copies Sold
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Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
#1 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
The Republican Party is a friend of Social Security the way Colonel Sanders was a friend of chickens.
— Charles T. Manatt
#2 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.
— Jonathan Clements
#3 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.
— George F. Burns
#4 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
— Gene Perret
#5 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.
— Unknown wise person
#6 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
If my dreams could all come true paradise/retirement would be — in a little bungalow — somewhere by the sea.
— Unknown wise person
#7 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the
time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree
outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself.
— Hartman Jule
#8 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
I really stay busy [in retirement]. I often have to cancel my golf games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments.
— Richard Davies
#9 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
I'm not retiring from life, just a job.
— Unknown wise person
#10 Quote of Second Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement is waking up in the morning with nothing to do and by bedtime having done only half of it.
— Unknown wise person
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Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
#1 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my
stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.
— Hartman Jule
#2 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Don't wait for retirement to be happy and really start living. Invariably, people who try this find out that they have waited much too long.
— from the best-selling book How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free
#3 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
— Unknown wise person
#4 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep
you awake in the afternoon.
— Unknown wise person
#5 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement is a time to make the inner journey and come face to face
with your flaws, failures, prejudices, and all the factors that generate
thoughts of unhappiness. Retirement is not a time to sleep, but a
time to awaken to the beauty of the world around you and the joy that
comes when you cast out all the negative elements that cause confusion
and turmoil in your mind and allow serenity to prevail.
— Howard Salzman
#6 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Age [along with retirement] appears to be best in four things — old
wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old
authors to read.
— Francis Bacon
#7 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.
— Abigail Charleson
#8 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retired — Someone who knows it all and has way too much time on his hands to tell you.
— Unknown wise person
#9 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire.
— Samuel Johnson
#10 Quote of Third Top-Ten List of Retirement Quotes
Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials — much to live
on and much to live for.
— Unknown wise person
Warning! Warning! Warning!
What You Don't Know about What Makes for a Happy Retirement May Hurt You
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Retirement Quotes — The Right Time to Retire
Retirement will become evident to me at the time.
— Peter Brock
Sixty-five is the age when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job.
— Unknown wise person
By the age of 65, most of us have accomplished whatever work-related goals we are going to reach. If you haven't done it by then, chances are you aren't going to do it. Take the retirement, take the pension, take the Social Security, and sail off into the sunset.
— Sue Lasky
It's tough to get reallocated when you're the one who's redundant.
— MacDonald's Law
I have made enough faces.
— Greta Garbo (in 1946 refusing ever again to perform)
Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry
that you retire.
— Samuel Johnson
The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.
— George Foreman
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Retirement Quotes — What Is Important in Retirement
In retirement, only money and symptoms are consequential.
— Mason Cooley
But what, it may be asked, are the requisites for a life of retirement?
A man may be weary of the toils and torments of business, and yet
quite unfit for the tranquil retreat. Without literature, friendship,
and religion, retirement is in most cases found to be a dead, flat
level, a barren waste, and a blank. Neither the body nor the soul
can enjoy health and life in a vacuum.
— Richter
Slow down and enjoy life [in retirement]. It's not only the scenery you miss by going too fast — you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.
— Eddie Cantor
I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying
your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.
— Voltaire (in retirement)
RETIRE NOW !
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